Visits to the School Office Situated at the front of the school, and ever-present in the back of every student’s mind, is the dark, ominous, Kremlin-like structure known as the attendance office. Every student knows that there are only three reasons for being there: a friendly yet cold visit to clear absences or get information, a teacher sanctioned errand, and, the dreaded one, a disciplinary referral. The first reason for going to the office is perhaps the least involved in procedure: a student comes to the cold, yet courteous staff, states his business, manages to get what he wants if he’s polite, then leaves. A visit of this sort normally lasts less than ten minutes, though it can take substantially longer if there are people waiting in line for the same thing, such as a schedule change. This type of visit also falls under the category of a friendly visit, where the student feels confident because he has a reason for being there.
The second force that will call a student to the office is a teacher asking him to run an errand. The privilege of avoiding class to run an errand for the teacher is always fought over. This type of office trip usually involves dropping off some scrap of paper to the proper individual or hunting someone down to ask them a question. Sometimes, finding the right person or whatever can become a quite lengthy procedure, taking the student’s search all across the campus and eventually concluding at McDonald’s or Taco Bell. This type of office visit is by far the most fun.
The final, and most dreaded type of office summons is the type that is required for disciplinary actions. This usually takes the form of a summons slip from the office, a visit from a Narc, or a teacher screaming, “Get out!” at the top of his lungs, which is normally followed shortly by a swift messenger carrying a referral slip. In this type of visit, the idea is to totally demoralise the student, making him sit in front of the door of either the dreaded Morrison or the even more dreaded Putnam. During this time the student is supposed to feel remorse for what he did. However, the student usually feels sorry only for not getting away with what he did.
After a seemingly endless period of waiting, the student is called into the office of the residing disciplinarian. After a long lecture about how he’s destroying his life and a humiliating call to a parent, the student is either sent back to class with a warning or sent home with a suspension notice. This type of office visit is the one that is most feared by students and loved by sadistic teachers. It is also interesting to note that it occurs with far greater frequency that the other types. All that can be said about this type of experience is that it is to be avoided.
Throughout his academic career,the typical F.U.H.S. student is likely to experience all of these three classes of friendly and unfriendly office adventures, with the unfriendly type being the most dominant. From examining the three types, it is only obvious that teachers and administrators care little for student comfort and convenience during office visits.